The Fall and Rise of Draft One

Day One “We’re putting together an anthology,” they say. They have an email to prove it. Very few combinations of five words so excite The Short Story Guy. Maybe “short stories turn me on,” or “sure, we’re a paying market.” It is not a literary style I’ve written in. Despite that, perhaps because of it, I am intrigued.…… Continue reading The Fall and Rise of Draft One

An Open Letter: Hey, Cucumber Guy

Hey Cucumber Guy: An Open Letter You, Cucumber Guy. Yes, you. The one in the restaurant kitchen adding the cucumbers to the salads. You did it again. You served me an otherwise well-crafted salad with cucumber slices like hockey pucks. What am I supposed to do with these? Weight down important papers? Make cucumber water? Treat…… Continue reading An Open Letter: Hey, Cucumber Guy

Mark Antony, Two Hours Before His Big Speech

Murrayus, you have the revisions?…Finally. Two hours, and I’m up to my toga pleats in angry rabble, and that last draft you brought me was excrement. ‘You get drachmas, and you get drachmas, and you get drachmas!’ What was that? I’m not looking like a fool in front of the plebes. I just heard Brutus…… Continue reading Mark Antony, Two Hours Before His Big Speech

An Open Letter to the Big Time Reality TV Producer Who Thinks All Jobs in Alaska Are Cool

Dear Big Time Reality TV Producer Convinced All Occupations in Alaska Are Cool, I see it like I’m right there with you. I see you sitting at your desk, a mounted moose head behind you, a big map of Alaska on the opposite wall, and your people shuffle in, all averted eyes and hang-dog expressions, one…… Continue reading An Open Letter to the Big Time Reality TV Producer Who Thinks All Jobs in Alaska Are Cool